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Saturday, January 13, 2007


So, I'm back.

Kept away because with my last posting, I got that familiar feeling of pointlessness about the whole thing. Trying to sort through all the horseshit that is fed to us on a daily basis makes what Hercules had to do with the stables seem like a cakewalk.

I'm not perfect, and I don't think I am the most brilliant person on the planet, but I don't take stupidity well. Whether it's genuine ignorance, or ideological fanaticism or faked for other purposes (agenda, money, notoriety, just to be a $&%^!@ pain in the ass), I find it oh so weary.

Yeah, I know, stop whining. Screw you. My blog.

This past September 11th, and for a few days after I went through all these photos and memorial sites from then, and now, and I was...what? Disheartened? Disgusted? It struck me that its been FIVE fucking years since it happened, and you wonder where the time went. Then you realize it must have gone straight up the asses of so many people who have also put their heads up there, looking at all the ridiculous rantings and conspiracy theories and mainstream bullshit out there.

News organizations that are so supposedly worried that they will traumatize families by showing too much of the planes hitting and towers falling and people leaping, think nothing of airing videos of US troops being shot and kiled by terrorists thugs. Videos supplied by the fucking terrorists!

What's more glaring and infuriating? The hypocrisy of showing one without the other, or the complicity in airing enemy propaganda?? Or is it that you even need to point out either one as being heinous and vile? That you get blank stares or dismissive denials?

I've stayed away because I've got other things going on, and I do not have the most focused mind (except for following the news, which just irritates me), but mostly I've stayed away because I imagined making a difference, of somehow helping tilting the balance away from catastophe.

I don't believe that's possible anymore. I think the rot has settled too deep in for it not to give way in a disasterous way. So much of western thinking has become decadent and twisted, devouring itself, that it will take blood for things to change. People don't value their freedom, they don't value their culture and they don't value their own history. We've allowed pride in our way of life to be debased and common sense to be ridiculed.

I'm part of it. Not nearly as good a student as I could be, and with schools that expected less of us than they did our parents, I am continually amazed at how little I know, even as I learn more. If I ever won the lottery, you know what I would do? I would go to California and take classes with this man until my brain bled. Instead of sailing around the world watching it burn while drinking Pina Coladas, I would try to learn how much I did not know.

I re-read this post at the Belmont Club recently, and it still goes straight to the heart of why we are in such deep shit. We lack the will to even believe and value ourselves, let alone fight for it. Fanatic and crazy as the Islamofascists seem, and as self-absorbed and self-destructive as totalitarian regimes from Russia and China are, they are not full of a whole-lot of self-doubt as to their goals and intentions. They may have realisitic comprehension of their limitations and weaknesses, but they do not plagues themselves with thoughts of "are we worth it?" or "will we be liked by everyone if we do X?".

We are decadent. We don't get it. We don't know what its like to really frightened and we don't know what its liked to be oppressed and we don't know of genocide.

We're in for a rude freakin' awakening, and the sheer tragedy of it makes me ill and despondent.

So, no, I have not felt like writing about it much, about recording the folly as it occurs, giving the play-by-play of the downward spiral. Forgive me.